JMT HYPNOSIS

Welcome to the LGBT section of my site. As well as offering a number of services to my clients, I tailor specific services for the LGBT Community. I am currently developing more specific hypnosis based therapies in a number of LBGT areas, which I will be updating in the next few weeks. At the moment I offer the following hypnosis based services:

 

• Dealing with shame and internalised homophobia, Biphobia, Transphobia 

• Chemsex addiction 

• Coming out

 

Dealing with Shame, and internalised homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia

 

One of most overwhelming feelings of being gay, bisexual, lesbian, queer, intersex or trans maybe more to do with ourselves. We may externalise these feelings insofar as thoughts of people not liking us, or we may become angry, depressed, suffer low self-esteem, anxious or hide our true selves, because of the fear of rejection or of not ‘fitting’ in to society, our gender, sexuality or ethic group. We may simply think we are not worthy of happiness, sexual expression and success. 

 

To the outside world we may appear confident as we may have already come out and feel that is the end of it “We’re true to everyone else so we’re true to ourselves” Or maybe you’ve gone through gender reassignment and now feel complete. However, we forget that whilst we may change to the external world insofar as how we project ourselves and share with people our sexuality, we may not have actually changed our internal world of ourselves, and how we see ourselves fitting in. That is the belief we have about ourselves and the role we play. Most of us would have been brought up in a purely hetrosexual educational system, home life and work. As a consequence we are given rules about our behaviour, our looks, our sexual preference, expression and careers: A list of shoulds and oughts and what nots, may have all been drummed into us either consciousnesses or unconsciously through school, parents, friends and the media. Psychologists call this social conditioning and in the LGBTI community it is the social conditioning into the hetrosexual world.

 

Research in the US, has suggested that one of the most harmful effects of discrimination for lesbians, gays, bisexual, trans, queer, Intersex is internalised hetrosexism. This manifests itself within individuals. For example a person believes the social myths and stereotypes about the LGBTI community i.e. they cannot commit to a relationships, they have lower morals, they are not ‘normal’ as it’s not ‘natural’. All these shameful myths and stereotypes may lead individuals to come to blame themselves and feel ashamed or guilty, for the acts of discrimination that are routinely perpetrated against them either directly or indirectly. We may also dissociate from hetrosexism and deny that it exists, and rationalise society’s unfairness i.e. in reference to marriage, people may quote the bible or refer to some evolutionary theory of relationships and sexuality.  

 

Social conditioning/hetrosexism may cause us great distress and inner turmoil of our mind takes. Freud suggested our mind is split into three parts, the Id is the ‘child’ within us which wants to pursue pleasure, The ego is the control mechanism; the practical one that gives us guidance and the superego, which is the parental part of our consciousness and which is driven by what we should do. Whilst there’s no firm evidence that our subconscious or unconscious mind is separate, hypnosis has been found to be extremely effective in assisting people with releasing emotions that maybe linked to low self-esteem, lack of confidence, anger and anxiety which may fuel internalised shame. 

 

What will happen at the initial consultation?

 

The sessions usually start by taking information about you and things that may have happened as you were growing up. In particular I may ask you questions about whether you experienced name calling when growing up, at home or at work. Research has shown that internalised shame and homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia may start at a young age when we have been subject to name calling, aggressiveness, jokes and social isolation. As a consequence we may internalise these experiences which then may cause problems for our self-esteem and confidence.  Further, you may feel oppressed as you do not ‘fit in’ to a particular society or social group. This is particular found with bisexual, trans and intersex people who feel they are on the edge of society and not fitting into any particular group or groups. 

 

I may use a chart for you to plot where you see yourself at the present time insofar as your social life, work, relationships, career, and I may also use questionnaires for you to complete in the session or at home about yourself, sexuality and social stereotyping.

 

How will I be hypnotised?

 

I usually use a progressive muscles relaxation (PMR) technique to relax you. This may take anywhere from 20-40 minutes as I gradually ask you to release your muscles and I may use a mixture of imagery, sound and metaphor to assist with this.  I then, depending on the type of issues you wish to explore, give you direct suggestions which may involve further visualisation. I may also use metaphor and other imagery during the session including sound. 

 

What if I can’t relax?

 

There are other methods I use. This could be a metaphor and guided imagery of driving along, on a beach, in a hot air balloon, walking in the country. I have found these work extremely effective for people who tense up when you tell them to relax. I also use gentle background sound relevant to the particular scenario i.e.  you are driving in a car and the noise maybe traffic in the distance with the sound of rain.

 

Alternatively, I may use a fixed point technique. A point on a wall or on my hand and ask you to concentrate on it. Or perhaps I may use a confusion technique and make you count in a series of numbers. This is effective for people who's conscious brain is constantly vigilent and alert. 

 

The techniques I use is always dependent on you as an individual and sometimes once the client is comfortable they will relax. Remember it is YOU which chooses whether to relax or not, not me. YOU have the control whether you want to become hypnotised or not, not me. 

 

How many sessions will it take?

 

For internalised shame, homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia they usually go to the heart of who we are and thus, central to how we see ourselves and form the basis of our self-esteem. As such I usually recommend six sessions. We may need more and particular you may become aware of an event, memory or experience which may emerge which we may deal with through the use of hypnoanalysis (regression) i.e. going back to the event and seeing it at a safe distance and gradually going closer in order to diffuse the distress it has caused in your life. I may also adopt a role playing exercise, whilst under hypnosis to challenge a person/s or has caused you distress in order to release the emotional experience. This will always be explained to you and I will always seek your approval before undertaking any hypnoanalysis. 

 

Chemsex addiction

 

There is no exact definition of what is Chemsex addiction is. One definition is the use of Crystal methamphetamine (Crystal, Tina, Meth, Ice, T), GHB/GBL (G, Gina, Liquid, Ecstasy) or Methedrone (Meow Meow, MCAT, Plant food), before and during sex with another man/men/woman/women/Trans/Intersex. It could be a drug combination of one or all the above drugs or with with a mixture of alcohol, viagra, Cialis, Ketamine, Cocaine or poppers. The effects of this drug lowers inhibitions meaning people have more confidence to engage with sex whether individually or in groups. The drugs may also lead to ‘pushing’ the boundaries of sexual fantasy and sexual adventure and pursue fetishes and fantasy. 

 

A report by the South London Councils of Lambeth, Southwark and Lewisham have found the emergence of Chemsex within the gay community is growing. Moreover, there is the concern of overdosing especially GHB/GBL where there is little knowledge within the community as to the safe dosage of this drug. Further, there is a greater risk from catching STI’s and HIV due to the lower of inhibitions, lowering of cognitive functioning i.e. you feel spaced out or lose of consciousness to feelings of depression, anxiety and worthlessness. 

 

How can hypnosis help me if I’m addicted to Chemsex?

 

Like any habit or addiction, Chemsex maybe a symptom rather than the cause of some underlying psychological disturbance. What I mean by this is, that studies have shown that men who engage in Chemsex, actually report feelings of low self-esteem, low self-worth, lacking in confidence and being on a self-destructive path.

 

Hypnosis can help you regain control by addressing the underlying issues by direct suggestions. This may involve giving you positive affirmations about yourself whilst under hypnosis to your unconscious memory. This can be done indirectly through metaphor or for deeper issues through hypnoanalysis. Hypnoanalysis is an extremely powerful tool for taking you back to an event which may have caused emotional disturbance to your self-esteem, self-worth, poor body-image, self-confidence, feelings of masculinity, feelings of rejection, which may be fuelling an addiction or habit. We can then help you release these feelings in order that you can take back control. Remember whilst you may workout your physical body in the gym it is just as important to do exercises for your mental health too.  

 

 

Surely Chemsex is a physiological addiction?

 

Yes, in part this is correct. Chemsex like that of gambling, smoking, drinking and viewing internet pornography, they are all shown to cause physiological changes in the body especially in the reward centre of the brain. However, that is only part of the story it is the actual habit i.e. the psychological behaviour which fuels the behaviour. That is why it is important to address the underlying causes rather than treating the symptoms. If the symptoms are only tackled then a person may substitute a Chemsex addiction with another self-defeating behaviour. 

 

Like with all addictions and habits they are learned. These are all unconditioned responses which over time have become conditioned responses i.e. automatic behaviour by the use of adopting behaviour strategies i.e. cues which may fuel the behaviour. Therefore, if you learn a behaviour it can be unlearned. Hypnosis is a powerful tool in helping you kick any habit or addiction. 

 

How many sessions will I need?

 

I usually recommend a minimum of 6 sessions but if the underlying issues are so deep rooted then you may need more sessions especially if hypnoanalysis is used. You may wish to use hypnosis along side other services such as meditation, seeing a health worker, exercise and healthy eating. 

 

 

Coming out

 

Whether you are reaching your teens or are middle aged, coming out maybe the biggest step you have taken to acknowledge your sexuality to the outside world. There maybe reasons you want to tackle it now and this maybe due to circumstances in your life. Perhaps there were landmarks in your life which have now passed and you now want to come out whether to specific group of people i.e. friends or work colleagues, or to the ‘world’.

 

Coming out has been described as similar to a spiritual ritual and which may actually involve a sequence of events. You may want a particular time to work towards i.e. a family gathering, a time at work or reach a landmark age. Or perhaps you just want it over and done with and may feel a little fearful as to the consequences i.e. fears of rejection, loss of financial support, loss of work etc. 

 

Research has found that women and men who go through a metamorphosis from married heterosexual to a single gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, may identify coming out as a transition that manifests itself as a delayed adolescence. Just as adolescents go through the struggles of searching for identity, intimacy and values. As a consequence you may need to consider “Who I’m I?” and What is my reality in this identity? and look into the emerging identity as part of your passage of coming out. 

 

How can hypnosis help me with the ‘coming’ out process?

 

At the initial consultation I will take a detailed history from you and reasons you have reached in coming out. I will then suggest a number of different hypnosis options. These could be visualisation of you actually announcing the news of coming out to an actual or imagined group of people. We may view your life like that of a film, story or words on a board of all your achievements.  Or perhaps through indirect suggestions about you going on a spiritual journey using symbolism. Maybe the case when you want to get in touch with the new emerging identity, especially if you have been in a hetrosexual marriage.

 

 

How many sessions will it take?

 

I normally recommend 3- 6 sessions but this is dependent on whether there are any underlying issues that emerge or you want to address before coming out. We can discuss this at the initial consultation and through the course of your therapy.