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For many of us, being a partner in a relationship is important and research has shown that people are happier as part of a mutually respected partnership. However, relationships can be challenging at times which can result in arguments, separation and result in the end of the partnership. This can be devastating especially if it has been a long relationship and there are children and fiancially obligations.
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Difficulities often arise when there is a shift in balance and perhaps one partner feels as though they're putting more work into the relationship. Or perhaps one partner feels they are been taken for granted or feel marginalised or put on the 'back burner' whilst their partner goes out and leads a 'single' lifestyle. Or perhaps both partners are working so hard that there isn't enough time to spend quality time with each other and the partnership drifts apart.
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Changes in finances and responsiblities at work can put pressure on the relationship. Being unstimulated resulting in boredom can have a serious impact on the partnership and which reduce it to 'good friends' where there is little or no sex life. Or maybe there is now frequent arguments about anything and everything to the point neither party seems to be getting on. Or maybe there are issues outside the relationship, a third party/s or issues regarding sexuality. Or maybe there is a pattern of broken relationships or interference from family and friends.
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Research has shown that all relationships go through stages and as long there is an equitable balance then the relationship will continue regardless of the sex or race of the couples involved. Although it is recognised that in some same sex couples there maybe other issues in respect of sexuality, such as internalised homophobia, discrimination outside, feelings of marginalisation or oppression. The same can also apply to couple from different ethnic groups as culture and aspects of the community can impact on the relationship.
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Counselling can be beneficial for either party in order to establish what the issues are. How each party sees the other and their respective role, which is important to establish the balance. Is it tipping more in favour of one party than another? To establish what are the difficulities and can a middle ground be met in order to work from? Where does the balance have to be changed?
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Counselling for couples regardless of your gender or sexuality, is often done when both attend the sessions. It is important that both parties can 'pitch' their thoughts as to where the problem is and then exploring this to see where both parties want it to go. It can be emotionally journey but a worthwhile one regardless of the outcome.
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