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Anger can be a positive emotion as there are times when we need to express when we're feeling angry. It is perfectly justifiable to be angry if someone cuts you up whilst driving, or pushes in when you're in the queue or maybe a friend as repeatedly cancelled on you.
Anger may become an issue is when you feel aggitated over everyday minor annoyances and that either individually or collectively you become angry or fly into fits of rage. So for instance being in a queue may cause you to become angry and perhaps you storm out of the shop or get into a fit of range if a friend is late or doesn't return a text or email promptly. You may find yourself constantly feeling angry, annoyed, irritated or tense. Anything may start you off whether it's finding a parking space, shopping, going out and having to wait to be served at the bar.
You may fly into fits of range from quite innocuous circumstances or perhaps you feel frustrated and these constant 'niggles' rise your anger levels to they spill out into a regular basis to the point that anger seeps out virtually all the time regardless of what the event. Or perhaps you store all the frustration and annoyances up to the point that it triggers an uncontrollable fit of rage which may frighten only yourself but others too, who become scared of upsetting you. Furthermore, you may suffer feelings of remorse or let things that made you angry fester, turning over in your mind. .
Anger is made of both physiological symptoms i.e. the body’s 'fight or flight' response resulting in the the rapid heart beat, perspiring and clenching fists. This is preparing you either to stay and fight or flee, depending what you anticipate will happen. There is also the psychological part, the cognitions or thoughts, many of which would have been learned and the brain ‘pulls’ them out as to help organise the patterns of behaviour. Perhaps the sense of injustice or 'how dare they?" to great feelings of intolerance and agitation.
There are many theories as to why some people become more angry than others. Most theories view anger being very much a learned process and that we may learn it from our parents or caregivers. We've seen them get upset or shout and scream and internalise them. A learned response occurs.
Some research suggests that anger may be repressed due to a number of things. This could be because you were not allowed to show anger as it was not desirable and therefore repress it. Over time it will come out.
Or perhaps you feel agitated all the time and angry. This may be a result of stress or anxiety. It therefore becomes a way of life of constant finding fault and snapping at people.
Counselling can help you tackle your anger in a number of ways. Perhaps there are patterns or times when you can pinpoint 'red flag' circumstances and learn a coping mechanism. This can be built on by implementing cognitive rehearsal, relaxation exercises and learning assertive rights and role play. This can help with resilence and making you take back control as anger is very much a loss of it.
There are times however, where we may need to trace the cause as anger may very well be the symptom. This is done by going back through your history to pinpoint possible causes. Perhaps you have felt emotional blackmailed by someone significant in your life or did not feel as though you were listened to. Perhaps there is unfinished business and emotions which have not been released such as feelings of injustice, of being ignored. Whatever the reason I use a variety of methods to assistant the client in tacking anger and taking back control in your life.
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